Which Door Do You Want to Open?

I just finished a novel by Karen White called The Time Between.It is a novel about love and loss, regrets and guilt over choices made, and relationships. When I finished this novel I started thinking about “the time between.” When we are diagnosed with cancer everything in our lives seem to fall into before we had cancer and after our surgery/surgeries, and all treatments are finished. The “time between” is technically when we are undergoing diagnosis decisions and whatever intervention is necessary to hopefully save our lives. But, then I came to learn over the years and by listening to other survivors that the “time between” can go on emotionally for a very long time. Although this novel is not specifically about cancer, it is about devastating life changes and struggle. It “spoke” to me and helped me to realize that it was definitely time to be beyond the “time between.” There is a quote in the book: “There is how we were before, and how we are now, and the time between is spent choosing which doors to open, and which to close.” So I found myself visualizing two doors. One had Fear written on it and the other had The Rest of Your Life written on it. So often in the past I seemed to walk through that Fear door and ruminate over what might be. But, when we do that, we rob ourselves of the here and now. I don’t want to walk through that Fear door unless or until I actually have to face a recurrence or any one of life’s possible tragedies. I want to throw open the The Rest of Your Life door walk through, lock it behind me and live in the moment. If I feel myself slipping toward that other door, I’m going to shake my head no and not allow myself to turn that doorknob. I’m going to paraphrase another quote in the book: ” We live, we love. These are the choices we are given, to open doors or to close them. It is all we have, and if we do it right, it is enough.” Blessings

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